Take it away, I beg. Take away this responsibility for my people. Take away this judgement of my leadership. Take away the aching nights and worrisome days. Why lay it here, with me?

I promised to serve. I promised to lead as best I could. How can a mere mortal woman carry this task? I must be graceful. I must be kind. I must be wise. I must be ready, all of the time. I didn’t want this, I never wanted this. I never asked for this lack of grace, this watchfulness for mistakes. I am broken, I am upended. My very soul is bleeding out.

But, I am brave, I am cautious. These my people cannot know that their Lady suffers. They cannot know the damage their glares do to my very heart. I will embody grace. I will embody ease. Though my soul roils like the turbulent winds, I will always appear before them as an effortless icon of peace.